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Move over, Cosmo. I’ve come up with my own personality quiz and this one is useful for something besides helping women attract the perfect man. (Hint: He’s already attracted — possibly to another man.)
This test is for anyone who wants to know if they’re cut out for a different type of relationship. One that’s more challenging than romance.
It’s designed to help you decide whether or not you should get a bird dog.
Having owned and hunted a German Shorthaired Pointer, a Llewellin Setter and a Brittany, my goal here is to help other would-be pet parents make sure that this type of dog is right for you. Answer the questions below as honestly as possible and see if you are ready to share your life with a bird dog.
Let’s get started:
1) How much do you value your marriage?
a. He/she is my soul mate
b. We have our ups and downs
c. Divorce papers/criminal charges have been filed
2) Your average annual income is between:
a. The cushions in your couch
b. $50,000 and $100,000
c. Google and Microsoft
3) On any given day, you have the energy level of:
a. An aging tree sloth
b. A normal healthy adult
c. A mongoose on meth
4) Under extreme stress, you tend to react more like:
a. Tony Soprano
b. Ward Cleaver
c. The love child of Gandhi and Mother Teresa
5) In terms of physical fitness, people say that you are:
a. Too slow to catch diabetes
b. Relatively healthy
c. Under investigation for steroid use
6) When you give a command to your dog, you expect it to obey like:
a. A Marine Corps recruit
b. A temperamental teenager
c. Lindsay Lohan on probation
7) Which of the following best describes your property?
a. I have a small yard.
b. I have several acres in the country
c. I can fit several countries on my acreage
8) How often do you hunt upland birds?
a. A few times a year
b. Almost every day during the season
c. I’m answering these questions between gunshots
9) When I’m not hunting, I expect my dog to:
a. Act like a well-behaved house pet
b. Hang out in the yard and chase the occasional squirrel
c. Be on a first-name basis with animal control
10) My pet training experience consists of:
a. Feeding goldfish
b. Teaching a Chihuahua to shake
c. Saddle-breaking hyenas
All done? Good.
Now review your answers. If you circled any letter besides “c” you might want to give some more thought to owning a bird dog. At the very least, be prepared to live life in high gear because I guarantee your dog will.
In loving memory of Sophie, by far the best and worst dog I ever had.